みず、やま、かぜ、かき
わたしたちのちきゅうは
てんきは よかったです
ウオーリがいに ひとが おおい いました
みんぽんしゅぎがありませんでした
きのう おひさまは あつかったです
きょうはきのうよりあつかったです
ひょうがは いま アイスクリーム です
These three "poems" if you will, contains messages about environmental concern and individual freedom. The first one is about how we neglect and destroy the very planet that we inhabit. In the end it says that the Earth now has a lethal cancer, because this is how I see it.
The second one is about the mass demonstrations going on against the economic injustice that exist in the world. It ends saying that democracy doesn't exist.
The third one is again a message about environmental concern. How the planet is getting warmer and warmer. It ends saying that the glaciers are now "ice cream" This is figurative, meaning that they melt like ice cream because of global warming.
These three "poems" if you will, contains messages about environmental concern and individual freedom. The first one is about how we neglect and destroy the very planet that we inhabit. In the end it says that the Earth now has a lethal cancer, because this is how I see it.
The second one is about the mass demonstrations going on against the economic injustice that exist in the world. It ends saying that democracy doesn't exist.
The third one is again a message about environmental concern. How the planet is getting warmer and warmer. It ends saying that the glaciers are now "ice cream" This is figurative, meaning that they melt like ice cream because of global warming.
I like the subject of your three poems, especially the first two. I feel like they are striving for a deeper meaning which I appreciate. The katakana use of ice cream for the third poem was fun and unexpected. Any reason you used キャンサ instead of ガン？
ReplyDeleteI particularly like your third piece. I think it gives imagery that is extremely flexible for interpretation, yet it's still clear you have your own intents in your work.
ReplyDeleteいいですよ！
とてもいいですね。Vocabularyはちょっとむずかしいです。I think you did a really nice job of creating three poems that contain deep meanings. Also it was nice to have explanation at the end. Also, I like the shape of your poems. They were very unique. However, I think it would have been better if you have actually translated your poems and the meaning of Katakana.
ReplyDeleteこれは とてもおもしろいです。The creative formatting of your poems coupled with their intense imagery allow for a very interesting and deep message to be attained from reading. すごいですね。
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your poems because they conveyed a sense of urgency about the current state of the world. You chose a very good topic and I liked that you used Katakana in a figurative way, with the use of キャンサー and アイスクリーム.
ReplyDeleteI like your spacing on these poems, I think it helps to holistically express the heart of your message. とてもおもしろいですね。
ReplyDeleteわたしも わかりません。：（ ちょっと むずかしいです。わたしは よみたいです、でも よみません。[I also don't understand. It's a little difficult. I want to read it, but I can't read it. (I like your message, though, and that you played around with form a little.]
ReplyDeleteI think you dis a good job combining words to convey what you wanted to express. I especially enjoyed the third one, where you chose the word アイスクリーム in your poem. It gives you a good image of how the glaciers are melting.
ReplyDelete